Standing Offer: Don’t You Want More Swiffer Commercials
Posted by Andrew Unterberger on March 5, 2009
In the words of Survivor, let me tell you about the commercial I saw last night. Few things (only 69 of them in fact) made me happier last year than the Swiffer commercial series withe the mops hatching romantic and occasionally creepy schemes to get back into the good graces of their one-time owners (set, of course, to the stirring strains of Player’s “Baby Come Back”), who had recently moved on to Swiffer’s loving arms. They were great, no doubt–among the most absurd and gleeful of the whole year, and treats whenever they popped up in a regular commercial rotation. I could have stood to have another dozen of them along similar lines without every getting upset with them phoning it in.
But the Swiffer ad I saw recently just took things to a whole new level. It featured the same basic conceit of a mop trying to wen back the owner who had spurned it–although now the rejected product is a broom instead–but not content to merely pop out of vegetable racks in grocery stores and peer out from behind trees, Broom has taken to the airwaves. As poor unsuspecting Mary listens to her favorite 80s radio station, the DJ begins his voice break:
“Now a song for Mary…”
Mary smiles, delighted someone out there someone cares enough to dedicate a song to her.
“…from a Mister…BROOM!”
Mary’s facial expression quickly drops to an unimpressed, “heard that one before” glance, as the Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me”–clearly the logical desperate progression from the now insufficient “Baby Come Back”–blares over the radio. Meanwhile, the back in the studio, the DJ (sporting a Flock of Seagulls haircut, of course) does a little breakdance move and points to his guest in the chair next to him–the very broom that Mary had recently discarded. Mary rolls her eyes and continues to go about her day’s business. The 80s DJ and Mr. Broom continue to get funky in the studio.
Now, why am I merely giving you the play-by-play of this wondrous little short, rather than merely posting it up top for all to bask in its glory? The answer is simple–I can find it nowhere on the internet. Admittedly, my tools are limited, but if it’s to be found on Google or YouTube, I’ve exhausted all my search options. In this day and age, for anything to be unavailable on the Internet–let alone a soon-to-be smash hit commercial–is quite unacceptable, and moreover, it’s rather unlikely. No doubt one among you out there in the ether could locate this commercial in a matter of seconds, whereas our brilliance here at IITS tends not to extend to the practical area of problem solving.
Thus, I am offering a $10 bounty for the first person who can provide me a satisfactory link to a clip of this video–or an upload of the clip itself, if you are so able and inclined. Not much, sure, but not bad for what could potentially be less than sixty seconds worth of effort all told (and if more, will at least keep your mind active on what is probably a slow work day). In these trying economic times, can you really afford to be cavalier about freebies such as this? Don’t delay too long, though–as soon as I see it inevitably pop up on YouTube, the offer will be closed.