Intensities in Ten Suburbs

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Standing Offer: Don’t You Want More Swiffer Commercials

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on March 5, 2009

swiffer

dont-you-want-me

In the words of Survivor, let me tell you about the commercial I saw last night. Few things (only 69 of them in fact) made me happier last year than the Swiffer commercial series withe the mops hatching romantic and occasionally creepy schemes to get back into the good graces of their one-time owners (set, of course, to the stirring strains of Player’s “Baby Come Back”), who had recently moved on to Swiffer’s loving arms. They were great, no doubt–among the most absurd and gleeful of the whole year, and treats whenever they popped up in a regular commercial rotation. I could have stood to have another dozen of them along similar lines without every getting upset with them phoning it in.

But the Swiffer ad I saw recently just took things to a whole new level. It featured the same basic conceit of a mop trying to wen back the owner who had spurned it–although now the rejected product is a broom instead–but not content to merely pop out of vegetable racks in grocery stores and peer out from behind trees, Broom has taken to the airwaves. As poor unsuspecting Mary listens to her favorite 80s radio station, the DJ begins his voice break:

“Now a song for Mary…”

Mary smiles, delighted someone out there someone cares enough to dedicate a song to her.

…from a Mister…BROOM!”

Mary’s facial expression quickly drops to an unimpressed, “heard that one before” glance, as the Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me”–clearly the logical desperate progression from the now insufficient “Baby Come Back”–blares over the radio. Meanwhile, the back in the studio, the DJ (sporting a Flock of Seagulls haircut, of course) does a little breakdance move and points to his guest in the chair next to him–the very broom that Mary had recently discarded. Mary rolls her eyes and continues to go about her day’s business. The 80s DJ and Mr. Broom continue to get funky in the studio.

Now, why am I merely giving you the play-by-play of this wondrous little short, rather than merely posting it up top for all to bask in its glory? The answer is simple–I can find it nowhere on the internet. Admittedly, my tools are limited, but if it’s to be found on Google or YouTube, I’ve exhausted all my search options. In this day and age, for anything to be unavailable on the Internet–let alone a soon-to-be smash hit commercial–is quite unacceptable, and moreover, it’s rather unlikely. No doubt one among you out there in the ether could locate this commercial in a matter of seconds, whereas our brilliance here at IITS tends not to extend to the practical area of problem solving.

Thus, I am offering a $10 bounty for the first person who can provide me a satisfactory link to a clip of this video–or an upload of the clip itself, if you are so able and inclined. Not much, sure, but not bad for what could potentially be less than sixty seconds worth of effort all told (and if more, will at least keep your mind active on what is probably a slow work day). In these trying economic times, can you really afford to be cavalier about freebies such as this? Don’t delay too long, though–as soon as I see it inevitably pop up on YouTube, the offer will be closed.

13 Responses to “Standing Offer: Don’t You Want More Swiffer Commercials”

  1. luckystar said

    what if i told you I had it?

  2. intensities said

    Um, I would probably ask you to give it to me.

  3. Anton said

    I also can’t find the Sears Air Conditioning commercial we all loved for so many years. I can’t imagine how this is possible; not only was this one of those commercials they brought back like four summers in a row, but I even once read a thread on the venerable SomethingAwful forums about it.

    Also, give him what he wants, luckystar. It’s the decent thing to do.

  4. Lisa B said

    Are you talking about the classic “another scorcher”? That’s here:

    While I couldn’t find the new Swiffer commercial, this did give me an excuse to watch the one with the “delivery from Mr. Mop” about 12 more times.

  5. Sam Skeen said

    Thank you so much LIsa B! I’ve been looking for that for years.

  6. MiAngelo M. said

    I found this commercial!!! I’ve been looking for Swiffer content ever since I saw the one with the extendable duster that had a dust mop in it…

    The commercial you’re looking for can be found under the “Demos & Videos” tab section at: http://www.swiffer.com/en_US/sweeper.do

    I think the one with the dust mop is even funnier though; you can see that one under the “Demos & Videos” tab section at: http://www.swiffer.com/en_US/sweeper.do

  7. MiAngelo M. said

    Oops! I have a correction – the dust mop one can be found here:

    http://www.swiffer.com/en_US/duster.do

  8. intensities said

    Not bad! You’ve certainly more than earned your cut, sir. E-mail me your address at fadeout95@gmail.com for proper financial compensation.

  9. Reese said

    Insensities — I love that commercial too. Just today I bored my friends by using my Facebook status to gush over the radical 80s DJ. When one of them hadn’t seen it, I went searching, but got the same result as you. But google also led me here!

    MiAngelo — you are an Internet God. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

  10. letsgetiton said

    I’ve been looking for that one too. Got no help from Google either. (til now) I have a friend that looked like that guy back in the 70s-80s and wanted to send it to him.

    Thanks

  11. Ken said

    Not sure if you found it, so I figured I would post it here for you. Here are both of the Don’t You Want Me commericials:

    http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=56363721

    Did you ever see this one for Chips Ahoy with Don’t You Want Me? I used to really like this one too:

    Hope that helps!!!

  12. Ken said

    There’s also this one:

    http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=56363721

  13. air tool said

    air tool…

    […]Standing Offer: Don’t You Want More Swiffer Commercials « Intensities in Ten Suburbs[…]…

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