Intensities in Ten Suburbs

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Skate It, You Crustaceoid

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on December 5, 2008

Well, at least this hideous freak of nature wasn’t born out of wedlock. Still, who grows up bemoaning their inability to play the bass?


3 Responses to “Skate It, You Crustaceoid”

  1. Lisa B said

    See what happens when you legalize gay marriage? Next thing you know, people are marrying invertebrates. I bet you anything this unholy alliance took place in Canada.

  2. Anton said

    Wtf? Why is it “my dad married a crab”? Why isn’t it “my mom is/was a crab”? Unrealistic portrayal of intermarriage spotted.

    Also, Lisa B, how would his statement work in a gay marriage situation? If he said “my dad married a man”, which dad would he be referring to?

    Also, it’s not like that freak could play Tony Hawk on playstation. If anything, this is a step in the right direction. Fucking affirmative action.

  3. Lisa B said

    Anton — his statement would have been “my dad never got legally married in the U.S., but he donated his sperm so that his lesbian friend could have a baby with her partner. Unfortunately my biological mom’s newfound penchant for dick put an end to that relationship.” Well, maybe. That happened on Queer As Folk, though. And The L Word too, actually. Which must mean it’s based entirely in truth. Go Showtime!

    In terms of this advertisement, what I’m more interested in is which games, precisely, he is referring to when he says, quote, “I like gaming.” What can he even play, anyway? DDR, maybe? Why is he able to play other games but not Skate It?

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