Intensities in Ten Suburbs

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It’s All About Me: A New Tenure for IITS

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on November 8, 2008

Just more of me to love, babe

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So, I’m pretty sure I know what you’re thinking. “Boy I sure love the work you do here at IITS, Andrew,” you ponder. “But I wish you didn’t have to write so much about music, movies, TV, and other boring pop culture stuff like that. Rather, I just want you to write about nothing but sports, which you clearly know so much about, and have such fantastic insight into.” Well, young reader, today is your lucky day, for I have recently started scribing for upstart athletics blog Sports for President, where you won’t have to worry about distractions like Billboard charts, 90s action movies and The Wire to distract from my nonstop NBA, MLB and other such coverage. And if, for some inexplicable, diabolical reason, you actually prefer my non-sports writing, you’re in luck as well, since it’s likely I’ll be doing far less of it here at IITS.

That said, it is 4:55 on a Friday night, and I don’t quite have the energy to write about the season finale of Mad Men tonight. So instead, here’s a little taste of what you could be getting at S4P–my recent commemoration of the anniversary of Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy’s proud proclomation of middle-agedom:

As we approach the unofficial anniversary of last year’s Oklahoma St. – Texas Tech game–and more notably, State coach Mike Gundy’s now-infamous post-game press conference, in which he bitterly attacked Oklahoman writer Jenni Carlson’s journalistic integrity and apparent lack of child-rearing abilities– and we wait anxiously to see whether Gundy acknowledges the occasion, either before or after tomorrow’s game (perhaps taking a page from The Answer’s playbook?), let us look back on the ten qualities of this clip that elevated the Gundy blow-up to the highest, Denny Green and Jim Mora-level of football coach YouTubery.

10. The Halloween colors. It’s entirely possible that all Oklahoma State press conferences look this spooky and ominous, I suppose, but I doubt it comes off as appropriately as it does here.

9. The reporter who chews gum and rolls her eyes on the sidelines at 2:06. Ooooh, you’re lucky Coach Gundy didn’t catch that little piece of disrespect, young lady!

8. “THAT’S NOT TRUE! THAT’S NOT TRUE!” Anybody wanna make me an avatar-ready .gif of this?

7. Gundy becoming inaudible as he wanders too far from the mics. It’s the first thing they teach you in Dramatic Monologues 101, Mike! If you’re not going to properly amplify, then you better project..

6. “But you OBVIOUSLY don’t have a child! I DO!” Yeah, and you know what their names are? Gavin, Gunnar and Gage. Seriously…Gavin Gundy, Gunnar Gundy and Gage Gundy. Who are are we to be lecturing about properly raising one’s children, exactly, Mike?

5. “If somebody makes fun of [your child]…because he dropped a pass in a pickup game?! Or says he’s FAT?? AND HE COMES HOME CRYING TO HIS MOM?!?!?” Oh boy, you can bet Gundy’s three G’s were catching hell for this little reminiscence during their respective lunch periods the next Monday.

4. The polite applause at the end. Next week, Fortinbras’s closing solliloquoy from Hamlet.

3. “That’s why I don’t read the newspaper! Because it’s GARBAGE!! Hey, The Lockhorns is still pretty good.

2. When the middle sections of the paper falls out from Gundy’s grasp at :20. Points to Gundy for never breaking tone or stride, though, or bothering to pick it up after his initial attempt to catch it fails. The Show Must Go On.

1. “I’M A MAN! I’M 40! Thank God they don’t make those annoying Coors Light commercials for NCAA-level coach rants.

3 Responses to “It’s All About Me: A New Tenure for IITS”

  1. Jack said

    You might be interested in this:

  2. Garret said

    “And if, for some inexplicable, diabolical reason, you actually prefer my non-sports writing, you’re in luck as well, since it’s likely I’ll be doing far less of it here at IITS.”

    This is the best news I have ever heard in my life ever.

  3. as i’ve said many times elsewhere

    paves otm

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