Intensities in Ten Suburbs

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Commercial Break: Things Bugging Me About Naomi Campbell, Lizards and Something Called Life Water

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on February 24, 2008

For no mere mortal can resist…

No doubt you saw this ad over the course of a Super Bowl that for once was actually more noteworthy for the stuff that, y’know, happened in between the commercial breaks. It’s the kind of clip that makes you wonder why even bother paying attention to the commercials at high-profile telvision events–obviously designed to be eye-catching and chuckle-inducing, to be condusive to water-cooler talk the next day, but actually meaning, signifying, and conveying absolutely nothing. It’s one of those commercials that so flagrantly flies in the face of logic and common sense that it makes you want to swear off paying attention to any commercials not involving Sir Charge or John Mellencamp ever again. Here’s a shortlist:

  • What is this empty, dark, white-walled room that Naomi Campbell is walking into? Does she often go out dressed to the nines to drink vitamin water by herself?
  • Why is this bizarre room somehow lizard-inhabited? Is this why Naomi’s hanging out here?
  • OK, so the lizard makes some superlizard jump for the vitamin water, and once he gets a taste, he’s instantly turned into “Thriller”-era Michael Jackson. Fine, fair enough. Where do all the other lizards suddenly come from? It’s not like all the other zombies suddenly appeared out of nowhere once MJ went zombified in the “Thriller” vid. Does the Life Water also make him multiply by the dozens or something?
  • Why is Naomi totally cool with there being a room full of dancing lizards? We’re given absolutely no context to the relationship that Naomi has with the rest of this situation whatsoever–not even a reaction shot to show her initial surprise at this apparent amphibious (reptilious? I can never remember) predilection for 80s pop.
  • Why does Naomi totally suck at doing the “Thriller” dance? It’s really not that hard to put your hands in the zombie motion and swing them back and forth, but she nonetheless seems to be missing a fundamental understanding of how the dance works. Very disappointing.
  • What the fuck is Life Water, anyway? Vitamin Water wasn’t lame enough to begin with? Christ.
  • Thrillicious? Are you fucking kidding me?

Plus, is there any need for this commercial when this already exists? I mean, goddamn.

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2 Responses to “Commercial Break: Things Bugging Me About Naomi Campbell, Lizards and Something Called Life Water”

  1. dude said

    I hate this!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bet my friend tht the woman in this commercial was tyra and not naomi but i wass so0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o wrong….but it dusnt matter anyway cuz im so0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o much smarter than her alltogetheerrrr.

  2. infinitus said

    Well, you see, when I first saw this commercial, I really didn’t care about who created it and what Life Water is, and all other little details around the set-up.
    All that I could see was a beatiful woman come into the scene.
    If the thrillicious lizards and their dance looks like a surreal event….who cares?
    A commercial, is a commercial, is a commercial…….and as with most of the times…surreal. Everybody knows it !
    But some people worry too much about little and worthless things.
    They can never see the bright side of things and they are truly miserable !

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