Intensities in Ten Suburbs

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Charts on Fire: 01-08-07

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on January 11, 2008

Something about the beginning of January–it’s always just about the worst time for the charts, full of mediocre top-rankers that never seem to go away. Last year at least we had “Irreplaceable,” but now we’re back with “Low’ by Flo Rida and some R&B guy you’ve probably never heard before. Though I gotta give it up to the guy for the amazing stage name (took me such a long time to see the double pun), can you remember the last #1 whose success had less to do with its main artist than this? Do we have to go back to the days of Shaggy and Ricardo “Ric Roc” Ducent for that? Ten years from now–hell, ten months from now–who’s gonna remember anything about this song except “Apple-bottomed jeans / Boots with the fuhhhrrrr”?

Anyway, “Low” is still #1, “No One” is still #2, “Apologize” is still #3 and “Kiss Kiss” is still #4. In fact, there are no new entries to the top ten, and no singles that move up more than two within it (Jordin Sparks, sliding 10-8 with “Tattoo”). Outside , we got movers from Chris Brown (the disappointing “With You,” 18-12), Snoop Dogg (so glad to see the public cottoning to “Sensual Seduction” as much as I do, 39-21), Alicia Keys (better “Like You’ll Never See Me Again” than that one closer to the top, 37-25) and Kanye West (glad to see last week’s backslide for “Flashing Lights” was just a fluke, 49-35).

Only two new entries to the top 50 this week, besides the re-entry of Bow Wow & Omarion’s execrable “Girlfriend”. OneRepublic’s “Stop and Stare” (64-49) is mildly promising–got that great ending guitar swell that’s about the only good thing about post-Coldplay senso-rock–though it’s pretty obvious that without “Apologize,” they’d still be nowhere. Webbie, Lil’ Phat & Lil’ Boosie’s “Independent” (#50) is a far more surprising proposition–a southern rap song saluting the self-sufficient working woman. Take that, hip-hop stereotypes, I suppose.

The top non-Miley Cyrus debut on the chart this week is Carrie Underwood’s “All-American Girl” (#68), a thinly veiled suggestion of Carrie’s own deserving of said status, and Plain White T’s are up in that business as well with their valiant attempt to prove themselves something besides the one-hit wonders they’re destined to be remembered as, “Our Time Now” (I could’ve sworn this was a Fall Out Boy song, #90). But the really remarkable debut is how somehow, against just about all rules, laws and guidelines that traditionally govern such matters, MOTHERFUCKING DRAGONFORCE have a top 100 single this week, albeit two years too late, with “Through the Fire and Flames” (#86)–possibly the first Power Metal single to crack said chart. If someone wants to take a gander at explaining this one to me…I’m all ears, really.

While I was in the area, I happened to check out the dance charts, and there sure is some weird shit going on around them parts these days. The #1 isn’t too weird, I guess–Kimberly Locke doing a version of Freda Payne’s country-soul standard (how many of those can you name?) “Band of Gold,” which is expectedly about half-decent. But much weirder are the two previous #1 singles–solo Depeche Mode singer Dave Gahan’s “Kingdom” and (Yoko) Ono’s “No, No, No.” I assume that the chart-topping versions must’ve been remixes of some sort, but it’d be really cool if they weren’t, ‘coz the originals are mad good.

Radiohead have the #1 album this week, although with sales that barely match a third of HTTT’s. Hope someday we get the actual numbers on In Rainbows‘ success as a d/lable–at least before we permanently decry Radiohead as the triumphant insurrectors of the music industry like we all want to do so badly.

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2 Responses to “Charts on Fire: 01-08-07”

  1. “Through the Fire and Flames”‘ chart success = Guitar Hero 3

  2. Andrew Unterberger said

    Guitar Hero III has been out for months, though. Christmas gift-related spike?

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