Intensities in Ten Suburbs

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Clap Clap ClapClapClap / Listeria: There’s Only One Rocktober

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on October 24, 2007

*Disclaimer: The Good Dr. still does not wish to appear to believe himself any sort of expert on matters athletic, therefore he acknowledges that his opinions on the matter continue to be self-indulgent and often largely suspect, unlike with all other matters, on which his word is final

So as I gear up to watch my first World Series in I don’t even know how long–a decade, at least, since even when I got into the 2004 playoffs, I lost interest by the time it became obvious the Cardinals didn’t have a chance against the Red Sox–I gotta say, I’m pretty fucking excited. These definitely feel like the two teams sort of destined to make it to the end of the Fall Classic (sorry Phils, you got it next year), and I sort of can’t wait to see how it plays out. But while I’d be OK with either team winning–the Red Sox have earned their period of athletic imperialism, I suppose–I’m 100% pulling for the Rockies. Ten reasons why.

10. The Uniforms. All right, I gotta admit that the asthete in me gets easily biased by a teams with some sharp-looking digs. The Rox’s austere but brilliantly eye-catching black, white & (purple? dark blue?) rags look great under the bright lights, and feel sort of oddly appropriate for the team’s character. Couldn’t possibly explain why that is, of course, and that’s because it’s probably totally nonsensical, but hey, that’s why it’s only #10, tough guy.

9. Troy Tulowitzki. Matt Holliday may have been the series MVP for his clutch HRs, and Matsui and Torrealba might have put up the most impressive stats, but for me, the NLCS was all about watching Troy Tulowitzki being a fucking beast in the field. Dude just refuses to screw up, and that leaping yoink! he made on that line drive in Game 4 might have been the coolest thing I’ve seen all post-season.

8. The Mascot. I mean seriously, what the fuck is with this guy?

Not quite as enigmatic as the Philly Phanatic, but far creepier and even less easily justified.

7. The Actual Attempt to Trademark “Rocktober” Phrase. Not if 1984 horror flick Rocktober Blood has anything to say about it.

6. Honestly, Do The Red Sox Really Wanna Be the Yankees of the 00s? Regaining that same kind of much-loved Underdog status might take them another 86 years.

5. The “Well, They Beat the Phillies” Justification. As in, “Well, they beat the Phillies, so they better win the whole thing.” I mean seriously, how much more crushing would it have been if after the Rockies swept the Phils without breaking a sweat, they went and dropped four straight to those Diamondback jobbers? If they win the whole thing, and prove to be the “Team of Destiny” about which so many have prognosticated, well, then, who were the Phils to get in the way of fate?

4. They’ve Never Won Before. I heard a lot of bullshit about how the NLDS was boring and pointless because the two teams had so little history when it came to post-season success. I mean, you gotta build that history from somewhere, right? If the Rox cap this amazing post-season with a World Series victory, these guys could end up proving to be one of the classic teams of the 00s. I personally find that creation of brand new mythology far more interesting than, say a Sox-Cubs “Battle of the Curs-ed Ones!“† series would be.

3. That Clip of Todd Helton Hallelujahing After Making the Final NLCS Out.

When was the last time you saw such unadulterated rapture?

2. My Desire to Believe in Athletic Superheroes. It’s the same reason that I want at least two or three of the pros to make the final table every year at the World Series of Poker, and why I do even kinda hope that Josh Beckett manages to keep his streak of WS near-perfection in this series (he can lose in extra innings or something, that’s cool). I want to believe that the Rockies haven’t been beating in so long simply because they are thoroughly unbeatable. I’d like to believe that should the season go on another 40 games, the Rox would be able to pick up at least 38 of ’em. I want to believe that athletic perfection is humanly possible.

1. They’re Still the Goddamn Underdogs. I mean c’mon, what exactly do these guys have to do to make people believe? 21 of their last 22 games, the first time since The Big Red Machine in 1976 to win seven straight post-season games, the first team since the new system was created to not be down more than a run at any point in the playoffs. And yet after all this, they’re STILL THE GODDAMN UNDERDOGS?? SI, ESPN and FOX Sports all say they’re going down, some in as few as five games. They don’t have the hitting, they don’t have the playoff experience, they don’t have the history. I call bullshit. History isn’t all that, and you don’t win 21 of 22 without a reason. I say Rox in 5. tops.

Play ball.

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6 Responses to “Clap Clap ClapClapClap / Listeria: There’s Only One Rocktober”

  1. Victor said

    Sox-Sox while endlessly marketable would technically be impossible since they’re in the same league. As a kid I was a little let down when I realized that.

  2. Andrew Unterberger said

    shit, yeah, I did know that. Well, got that disclaimer up there for a reason I guess.

  3. […] Intensities in Ten Suburbs wrote an interesting post today on Clap Clap ClapClapClap / Listeria: Thereâ??s Only One RocktoberHere’s a quick excerptClap Clap ClapClapClap / Listeria: Thereís Only One Rocktober October 24th, 2007 by Andrew Unterberger *Disclaimer: The Good Dr. still does not wish to appear to believe himself any sort of expert on matters athletic, therefore he acknowledges that his opinions on the matter continue to be self-indulgent and often largely suspect, […]

  4. Bonnie H said

    The Rockies are good, but… I’m still rooting for the Red Sox. Josh Beckett is amazing.

  5. why are you watching sports

    im not reading this

  6. Jason L said

    I gotta admit, as a Phillies fan, watching the Sox kick the shit out of the Rockies tonight was pretty satisfying, even though I hate Terry Francona. Enough with with this “team of destiny” thing, they’ve been riding a wave that should have ended when Holliday couldn’t touch home plate in the play-off against the Padres. Go Sox!

    Yes, I’m a bitter motherfucker.

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