Intensities in Ten Suburbs

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It’s All About Me: The Good Dr. in Clubland

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on September 6, 2007

The boring kind, not the good kind

Well, tomorrow’s the first Thursday of the new school year, which can only mean one thing: Time for the NYU Club Fair. This means that hundreds of NYU students–mostly incoming freshman loking for some sense of commonality midst the extremely heterogeneous mixture that is NYU campus life–will parade, possibly single-file, down rows upon rows of club booths looking for their attendance and/or sponsorship. In previous years these fairs were relatively relaxed affairs for me, but as president of the school’s College Bowl team, it now falls on me to run the thing, to pull in the hot prospects to replace the previous year’s fallen ranks.

It’s mostly meet-and-greet stuff. People see your booth, decide they have enough interest in what you’re pitching to take a second glance, and approach you for further information/salesmanship. The ultimate goal is to get as many people to sign up for your club as possible, boosting odds of one of them ending up being that diamond-in-the-rough that knows their Heidegger from their Kierkegaard, their JAG from their NCIS. For the most part, that means dealing with five different types of prospective members:

  1. People with a legitimate passion for trivia, who sign up with barely any prodding and come to a significant number of meetings throughout the rest of the year. (~5%)
  2. People with a passing interest in trivia, who’ll come to the first practice or two before concluding they prefer to pass their time with actual human beings, not people who spend their time debating the merits of Sophie B. Hawkins singles. (~15%)
  3. People with an even more passing interest in trivia, who sign up because they feel bad turning you away, and who will ultimately ignore the mailers for the rest of the year and put the club completely out of mind. (~20%)
  4. People who are attracted to your shiny booth but not your rough-around-the-edges sales pitch, and who slowly back away from signing up, despite your promises to be their best friend if they do. (~25%)
  5. People operating under the mistaken impression that College Bowl is NYU’s official bowling team. (~35%)

So what exactly does this mean for me in terms of preperation? You guessed it: Arts & Crafts time. If this blog hasn’t already made it abundantly clear, I have absolutely no hidden talents, and creating shit is definitely not an exception–A&C was my least favorite course at day camp, my worst subject in middle school, and #2 behind math-beyond-times-tables on my must-avoid list once I got to college. But nothing attracts the froshes quite like a nifty visual aid, so I stock up on glue sticks, Sharpies and posterboard, and start stylizing.

All things considered, could’ve turned out worse (and if my memory serves, last year, it definitely did). No cameraphone, so you’ll have to use your imagination, but I put together two pieces, one advertising the club strictly on its trivia virtues and one milking Victor, Weber and my appearance on the World Series of Pop Culture one last time for just about all it’s worth. I even briefly considered bringing our trophy with me to further entrance our prospectives, but a) that thing is fucking heavy and b) heavy as it is, I probably still couldn’t outrun anyone who tried to make off with it in all its hypnotic beauty.

With the great majority of our team regulars graduating last spring (though, following in the proud College Bowl tradition, I think only one of them has managed to get out of the state since), and my Presidential term coming to a rapid and amiguous close, the pressure is greater than ever to get some smokin’ rookies to fill out our line-up. Will our WSOPC fame help us score some of the hottest new trivia brains? If not, how about some of the hottest new trivia ass? Stay tuned…

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4 Responses to “It’s All About Me: The Good Dr. in Clubland”

  1. Katie said

    Just wondering, but have people ever seriously approached your booth under the impression that it was the bowling team? I say “seriously” because I can’t believe that anyone would be that ignorant.

  2. Andrew Unterberger said

    Yeah, 35% is barely even an exaggeration. I’d say at least one out of every four or five people approached the booth today under the misconception that it was a bowling club (despite the “not bowling affiliated” sign, and the picture of a dude bowling crossed out with a big black X)

  3. Millie said

    So did you get hit on by any hot ladies?

  4. Jessica said

    Fascinating site and well worth the visit again. I will be back soon cartooncom sex world
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