Intensities in Ten Suburbs

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Listeria: Top Ten Lines from Dude, Where’s My Car (2000)

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on July 14, 2007

Jesse & Chester’s Bogus Journey, now officially five years overdue

10. “No. First you give us the Continuum Transfunctioner, and then we give you the pleasure”
“I heard that one before…”

9. “Oh! Jellybeans!”
(opens container, spring snakes pop out)
“No jellybeans…”

8. “Who are you guys?
“We are not guys. We are hot chicks.”

7. “You guys picked the wrong transexual stripper to SCREW with!”

6. “We’re going over there.”
“A barn?”
“Is it red?”
“Then it’s not a barn.”

5. “Look, I refuse to play your chinese food mind games!”

4. “Dude, this is an emergency!
“So is this, dude. It’s a breakdancing stripper emergency!”

3. “They laughed at us when we said that aliens existed, and they mocked us when we started wearing bubble wrap jump suits. But who’s laughing now? I’ll tell you who’s laughing now. We are! Soon we will leave this lame planet, and fly through outer space, with cool aliens, who like us! It is going to be awesome!”

2. “But remember, you are in great danger. Trust no one.”
“Except for us.”
“Oh yes, thank you Jeff, good point. Trust no one–except for us.”

1. “A trained dolphin could deliver pizzas better than you two!”
“Yeah, but then the pizzas would get all wet!”


2 Responses to “Listeria: Top Ten Lines from Dude, Where’s My Car (2000)”

  1. gena said

    greatest blog entry of all time? perhaps.

  2. Rich said

    Perhaps the most important blog entry about the most important movie of the past decade.

    I don’t remember the exact quote, but one of my favorite parts was when the cop offers them donuts because he sold their car, and they happily accept.

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