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For the Love of God: Get the Movies Out So We Don’t Have to Watch Your Damn Trailers Anymore

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on June 28, 2007

World Series promos, on the other hand


I can’t remember the last time I had two movies whose release I was so looking forward to. Within the next month, we have the release of two likely soon-to-be-huge summer comedies–License to Wed, out July 3rd, starring Robin Williams as a preacher who refuses to marry John Krasinski and Mandy Moore unless they pass his two-week marriage course or something, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, out July 17th, starring Adam Sandler and Kevin James as two dudes who fake a gay marriage for financial reasons. I’m counting the days till these movies get released–not because I want to see them or anything, but because I don’t want my beloved television to be innundated with their ungodly previews anymore.

License to Wed is, improbably, actually the lesser of the two evils. That said, it still features Robin Williams, the most annoying man alive, in what looks to be his most annoying role since at least the last one. In the previews, he does his Robin Williams schtick–wacky physical comedy and MC Hammer references that he seems to think are edgy, or at the very least not obviously being done by someone in his 50s, neither of which is even close to the case (though maybe they are to 50-somethings–sorry, I’m really not as ageist in real life as I probably seem on this blog).

Even worse, he’s suckered two of my favorite young-ish actors into his web of lies and unfunny impersonations–John Krasinski, better known to NBC fans as The Office‘s Jim Halpert, and Mandy More, better known as, depending on your age, the “Candy” pop tart, the Zack Braff-dating singer/songwriter and Scrubs guest star, or the Walk to Remember starlet that broke Vinny Chase’s heart on Entourage. I fear for the careers and credibility of both actors after they are forced to spend two teeth-pulling hours playing second and third fiddles to Sir Robin’s shitstorm–Michael Vartan’s career still hasn’t rebounded from his turn in One Hour Photo.

But the ads for this movie look like they’re for fucking Annie Hall compared to the ones for I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Looking more socially regressive than Nickelback dueting with Hinder at a Carlos Mencia benefit, Chuck and Larry seems sure to be a trot through 140 minutes (!!!!) of devestatingly humorless gay jokes and less offensive but equally cringeworthy sight gags (Kevin James! He falls down a ladder! And he hits his head on every rung!), with its only real draw seeming to be a half-minute’s worth of a sopping wet Jessica Beal stripping down to bra & panties–not bad, but like she could go a movie without doing that at least once anyways.

I’d expect no less from the likes of Kevin James–the King of Queens never looked like he was capable of much more anyway–but from Adam Sandler (and director Dennis Dugan), it’s pretty disappointing. C’mon guys, what happened to Happy Gilmore? When did the hard-headed, foul-mouthed, sexually ambiguous, manchild rebel of Sandler’s early movies become such a middle-of-the-road crowd pleaser? When did he start hanging out with Kevin fucking James? I mean, it was criminal when the Academy snubbed him for Punch Drunk Love, but did he have to go so far in the other direction? Tragic.

Robin Williams and the 21st century equivalent of blackface, that’s what we have to look forward to for laughter next month. And thanks to these omnipresent ads, I’m reminded of it every 15 minutes. Just get it over with already.

(Oh, and CoF fans, Rihanna’s up to five weeks on top now, with the only change in the top five being Plain White T’s moving up one to #4. Exhilerating shit.)

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2 Responses to “For the Love of God: Get the Movies Out So We Don’t Have to Watch Your Damn Trailers Anymore”

  1. […] Zac Efron Link to Article rihanna For the Love of God: Get the Movies Out So We Dont Have to Watch Your Damn Trailers Anymore » Posted at Intensities in Ten Suburbs on Thursday, June 28, 2007 For the Love of God: Get the Movies Out So We Dont Have to Watch Your Damn Trailers Anymore June 28th, 2007 by Andrew Unterberger World Series promos, on the other hand I cant remember the last time I had two movies whose release I was so looking forward to View Entire Article » […]

  2. my kinetic android said

    “Looking more socially regressive than Nickelback dueting with Hinder at a Carlos Mencia benefit…” That may be one of my favorite sentence fragments of the year, abudance of references and all.

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