Intensities in Ten Suburbs

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Listeria: The Ten Best Dialogue Exchanges from Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

Posted by Andrew Unterberger on March 12, 2007

Life is more interesting in list form

Between this and Brick, ’06 was officially the best year for film noir in at least 60 years. Written and directed by Shane Black, who became the first screenwriter to sell a script for a million bucks with the at least two-mil-worthy The Last Boy Scout, the movie has maybe the least sensical and maybe the funniest action-based script since The Big Lebowski. The high points:

10. Perry: “Do you have to smoke?”
Harry: “Want me to put it out when we get near the…?”
Perry: “Yeah. As soon as you find a large brown clump of shrubs just throw it in there.”

9. Haromny: “Well, for starters, she’s been fucked more times than she’s had a hot meal.”
Harry: “Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck, and then she skipped lunch.”

8. Perry (pointing a gun at the thug): “I want you to picture a bullet inside your head.”
Thug: “Fuck you. And besides, that’s ambiguous.”

7. Partygoer: “So what do you do?”
Perry: “I’m retired, I invented dice. What do you do?”

6. Harry: “I peed on the corpse.”
Perry: “I’m sorry, you peed on..?”
Harry: “On the corpse. My question is–”
Perry: “No no, my question. I get to go first. Why in pluperfect hell would you pee on a corpse?”

5. Harry: “Um, clearly I’m interupting. I feel badly. Let me…”
Harmony: “Bad.”
Harry: “Bad? Sorry..? Feel…?”
Harmony: “You feel bad.”
Harry: “Bad?”
Haromny: “Badly is an adverb. So to say you feel badly would be saying the mechanism that allows you to feel is broken…”

4. Perry: “Go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call.”
Harry: “Bad.”
Perry: “Excuse me?”
Harry: “Sleep bad. Otherwise it seems like the mechanism that allows you to sleep…”
Perry: “What, fuckhead? Badly’s an adverb. Who taught you grammar??”

3. Intimidating Thug #1: “Well now, here we are, Ike, Mike and Mustard.”
Harry: “What the hell does that mean?”
Intimidating Thug #2: “You know, I’m with him on this one. That was pretty fucking obscure.”
Intimidating Thug #1: “Horseshit, I hear that all the time.”
Intimidating Thug #2: “You do? Where, at the 1942 club?”

2. [Harry puts one bullet in a gun, spins the chamber russian roulette-style, and unexpectedly shoots a thug on his first attempt]
Perry: “What did you just do?”
Harry: “I just put in one bullet, didn’t I?”
Perry: “You put a live round in a gun!”
Harry: “Yeah, well there was like an 8% chance.”
Perry: “EIGHT? WHO TAUGHT YOU MATH?!?

1. Perry: “Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you’ll find?”
Harry: “A picture of me?”
Perry: “No! The definition of idiot. Which you fucking are!”

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One Response to “Listeria: The Ten Best Dialogue Exchanges from Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang”

  1. I love this movie.

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